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Campbell Clan
Ian Campbell of the clan Campbell, 14th Duke of Argyll. Ancestral Home: Inveraray Castle on the shores of Loch Fyne (with newly build Stadium in foreground) Secondary Home: Urquhart Castle on the shores of Loch Ness (acquired 2012) Shield: Campbell of Argyll Motto: Ne Obliviscaris (Do Not Forget) Current sponsor: Chaos lord Khorne Background story: Very little is known of this enigmatic figure of mystery. He is well know by, and even friends with many “greater powers”. Despite being a semi-regular drinking buddy of Nuffle, he is a very recent entry into the world of Bloodbowl. “Tricked” by Nuffle into taking on a half share of a team (The Bloody Jockstraps) into the inaugural season of LIBBL, he fully expected to leave after the first season. He unexpectedly inherited the full team after the disappearance of the other owner (foul play is suspected by Nuffle). Seeing the best route to a championship lead with a more agile team, he brought an Amazon team (The Orion Slavegirls) into season two. By now he had totally caught the Bloodbowl bug. Although he won his first championship with them (Flushing bowl II) he ultimately became frustrated with their development and lack of punch. This led him to his third major team, the Norse (The Mighty One-Eyes). This was a very capable team lead by star stand-out yhetee Magni. Behind his season leading 13 casualties, Campbell earned his first Montauk cup playoff spot. His early out in the playoffs solidified his position to go more agile. He started experimenting with skaven and elf teams in non-league scrimmages. Then, in the middle of season four, everything changed. (see June 2014 issue of LIBBL Magazine) Section heading Write the first section of your page here. The Birth of a New (Chaotic) Team - from Jume 2014 LIBBL Magazine “This was definitely the low point of my coaching career so far. Two hideous losses, a 0-2-2 record for the season. An uncontrollable tirade which ended with me firing the entire team. New team tryouts for tomorrow. I can’t take it. Maybe I can get the Slavegirls to come out of retirement to finish the season…probably not. I seem to remember I didn’t part well with them either.” So there I was. Pity party was in full swing, so I took the day off to spend some time at Urquhart Castle. I walked down to the shores of Loch Ness and looked out on the beautiful waters as evening fell and a full moon hung high in the sky. Suddenly, a thick fog seemed to appear from nowhere over the water and the sound of a boat approaching came towards me. Out of the fog came a large wooden rowboat with one very large occupant. My hand quickly grabbed by amulet (never leave home without it) as I gazed at the Chaos lord Khorne. “I’m surprised to see you on my lands again after our last meeting. Shall we start round four?” “Peace, I just came to talk to an old friend” “Hmff, how did you even get here?” “You know the veils are especially thin here of all places. Not even your wards can keep me out on nights such as these. I see Nuffle finally got you on the pitch. And I must say those are the ugliest Amazons I ever saw.” “Hmff, hmff, thanks Nuffle” I whispered under my breath. “That team was two seasons ago. I don’t play them anymore. Khorne chuckles “yes yes, I know. I watched your team play last Saturday. Thoroughly entertaining I must say.” “Yep, yep! Round four it is!” “Peace! Peace!” he yells as I raise my fist and the amulet starts to glow. “Enough of the past. I came to discuss your future. Intrigued, I let the power slowly fade. “What about it” “I heard of your tryouts tomorrow. I’ve seen who made your short list. Elves, elves, skaven, and more elves. Pitiful really. “Yeah well, agility is the best path to a championship. Everyone knows that.” Khorne’s smile (if you can call it that) gets wider. “But at what cost? You probably win the game, and then spend the next month healing and recruiting new players to replace the dead. Your opponent probably loses, but they go straight to the pub to drink bloodwiser out of the sculls of your dead teammates. Tell me now, who had more fun?” As much as I hate to admit it, he had a point. Even the games I won with the AG teams had very little drinking and celebrating afterwards. A little weekly I replied “but isn’t the point to win?” “No no no, Nuffle has taught you the mechanics but he neglected to tell you why we play bloodbowl” “I suppose you are going to enlighten me, oh great and powerful one.” Unconcerned by the sarcasm dripping from me, He replies “Why yes, I am. We play for the carnage, the blood, the sounds of broken bones and crushed skulls. And its even more fun if all that is only from your opponents’ team” True that! He continues “If you win also, that’s just the cherry on the top!” I ponder…and think…and contemplate. “You’ve given me much to think on, but it’s too late to find a new team now.” His smile gets bigger (and truly scary to look upon) “And now you are ready for my offer.” In dramatic fashion he gestures towards the Loch and calls “Come forth my warriors!” Out of the water walks four of the biggest, meanest chaos warriors I have ever laid eyes on. “May I present Death, War, Conquest, and Pestilence (on loan from Nurgle). They are fully versed in bloodbowl and are ready to play for you.” Uh oh. I’m tempted. Very tempted. Must resist. “At what price?” There’s always a price. My God, the smile’s getting even bigger. He feels a nibble and I’m the freaking fish. “Let’s just say you’ll owe me a favor. A small favor for helping out a friend” Gaddamit. I hate open ended deals. He’ll hold this over my head forever. Resist. Resist. “Four don’t make a team. Where am I going to find seven more.” He reaches into the bottom of his boat and brings up two big nets and two trank guns. “It’s a full moon, the night is young, and the veils are thin. Perfect conditions to find us some beastmen. I even know where you can find an up and coming minotaur named Scales.” You expect me to play with wild beastmen? They don’t even have names!” He chuckles again. “Like that matters to you. You can’t remember anyone’s name until you’re ready to fire them anyway. Call them by their number until you can think of a name for them that you will remember.” Steady, steady. Hold firm. Resistance check fails. “I accept” As the words leave my month the giant chaos warriors slowly begin to turn green and take on the appearance of black orcs. Khorne just stands there with his jaw wide open and his eyes bugged out. Finally he mutters in a small voice “Well that’s unfortunate.” “I have got to have another talk with Nuffle about this. Give me one of those trank guns” I ask as I climb into his boat. “I can’t believe I’m going out with Khorne to cob a team together. Hey wait, I think there’s a name there…” 'The Revenge Game '(Week 3, Season 6) The Scales of Justice There are some things that an experienced bloodbowl team just shouldn't do. Common sense things. A great warrior/philosopher once uttered, don't get the wookiee mad. That same principal applies to minotaurs. Our tale of caution starts right before the match between the League of Extraordinary Numskulls and the crowd favorite Cobbs Khornes. Things were not well at the Clan and coach Campbell was nervous. The Numskulls were a tough bashy team led by their trio of big men, the minotaur Dan Nielsen (most hated in the universe), the troll Dr Sal Lombardo (we humor him as he pretends he’s a Dr), and the ogre Dave Wilcox (clearly the smartest of the three). To make matters worse, something was wrong with Scales, the Cobbs stand out, all star minotaur. He wasn't acting like the ‘roid raging berserker that Campbell knew he was. There was nothing he could put his finger on, but there was a spark that was missing. This was manifesting in some unusual ways. Scales actually seemed to be paying attention during strategy sessions instead of snoring in the corner. Campbell even caught him mumbling good morning to a team mate once instead of his usual grunt. It was time for action. A quick roundup of the castle staff (who also take care of the castle stadium during home games) and instructions were given to find something to help Scales regain his edge. Now all bloodbowl teams know better than to hang up any signs regarding their opponents before the game is played. But in the Numskulls case, their big men had put up a large poster of Scales in their locker room, which the servants were able to abscond with once the trio left for pre match warm ups. Campbell immediately took the damning poster and showed Scales the scribbles on it stating that he was a bastard, he never showers, and he loves kittens and puppies! Watching his huge star intently, Campbell sees his face scrunch up as Scales ponders this. My God, a minotaur thinking. The situation was worse than he thought. Finally Scales says "but coach, I am a bastard.....I never shower.....and I just can't help it, they taste so good". Hanging his head, Campbell is ready to admit defeat when suddenly Scales rips the poster from his hand. He seems to grow two feet and his eyes start glowing red as he tips his head back and utters the loudest bellow Campbell ever heard. He quickly exits the room as Scales proceeds to smash every bit of furniture as he screams "I am a Champion of Khorne!" over and over. As he races down the hall towards the pitch Campbell glances down at the poster and for the first time noticed the phrase “Nurgle lover” written in the corner. The game followed a predictable outcome from this point. Strategy was out the window as Scales focused only on his targets. Maneuvering into position, his first opportunity came late in the first half when he matched strength with his bigger, stronger counterpart. A flying leap and two slashing claws later left Nielsen’s head mostly decapitated from his body. The apothecary worked on stitching his head back on throughout half time but it was too little, too late. One down, two to go. The second half saw Scales relentlessly pursuing Dr Sal. Two upward slashes and it later took three wheelbarrows to remove all the intestines from the pitch. Two down, one to go. As time was winding down, Scales struck again when Wilcox was dealing with two beastmen. A giant jump up and two claws buried deep into the brain cavity. Instant lobotomy. Insult avenged in blood by three deaths in one match. When asked for his post game comment, Campbell summed it up nicely. “Bloodbowl once again proves itself to be a thinking man’s sport, with the number one rule being, don’t anger a Champion of Khorne!” -beat writer, Dan i’d Rather be watching bloodbowl Editors note: During Dave Wilcox’s autopsy it was discovered that he was still alive. Apothecary determined that both claws did indeed enter the brain cavity, but there was nothing there to be injured. Although he is listed as doubtful for his next game he is expected to make a full recovery.